If I Could Only Drink Three Grape Varieties for the Rest of My Life, It Would Be These

Answering the impossible question

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Some people have desert island discs, books, or movies.

We in the wine trade have desert island grape varieties.

Just ask any sommelier, winemaker, retailer, or importer their top three grape varieties — the ones they would be happy drinking exclusively forevermore — and watch them debate for hours. Days. Years.

Whilst it’s almost impossible to choose just three, these are mine.

In my opinion, they make the most delicious, interesting, and exciting wines you can find on this planet.

The wine world would be a sorry state without them.

Asking wine folk for their desert island grape varieties is my icebreaker question. And after asking hundreds of people, I’ve discovered I am not very original. My top three routinely pop up in other people’s lists.

In fact there is one that crops up 100% of the time.

And it’s probably not the grape variety you think.

The 100% home run — Chardonnay

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. Outside of wine circles, Chardonnay is completely misunderstood.

I’ve heard it be called a soccer mom wine. A suburban housewife wine. A basic bitch wine.

In other words, if a woman fits a sexist stereotype, they’ll do it drinking Chardonnay.

Chardonnay (and women) doesn’t deserve such scorn because when it comes to the wine trade’s desert island grape varieties, Chardonnay has a 100% success rate. I’ve never met anyone working in wine who doesn’t have Chardonnay on their list.

For me, Chardonnay is leagues above anything else. Stuff the other two varieties, give me Chardonnay until the day I die.

You may know that Chardonnay is also the white grape of Burgundy, the most expensive wine region in the world which accounts for four out of the five most expensive white wines ever made.

It seems I’m not alone in my love for it.

But there is more to Chard than Burg. It is also a shape-shifter that makes completely different styles depending on where it’s grown.

And it’s grown a lot.

South Africa, New Zealand, California, Burgundy, Jura, Champagne, all of them have taken Chardonnay to their hearts.

I get why people have grown to dislike Chardonnay. The 80s and 90s with their clumsy use of oak barrels (in certain regions at least) did the grape’s reputation no favours on the wider market.

But that’s not Chardonnay’s whole story. Not in any way.

And once you get hold of the good stuff, it’s like nothing you’ve ever drunk.

The one Sideways got right — Pinot Noir

After Sideways was released back in 2004, thanks to Paul Giamatti’s character’s love of Pinot Noir, sales of the grape grew by 170%.

But this isn’t about stats or popularity. This is about how grape varieties make you feel.

And Pinot Noir makes me feel like I’m in love. When I drink good Pinot, all feels right in the world.

Much like Chardonnay, when it’s grown in Burgundy it makes some of the most expensive wines on the market which means a lot of the good stuff is is completely out of my reach. It’s my treat wine which I suspect is why I love it so much.

We all want what we can’t have.

I also love it because it’s finickety. It’s one of the hardest grape varieties to grow. When it’s made badly — and there is a lot of bad Pinot Noir out there — it’s an abomination.

Even the good stuff isn’t the easiest wine to understand. Much like the best people it’s a heady mix of complex and weird. It’s light-bodied and acidic.

Pinot Noir makes you work for its love. And I’m more than happy to do that work because the trade-off is more than worth it.

BRB — I’m just Googling flights to Burgundy.

The wine of the hermits — Syrah

But not just any Syrah. Syrah from the Northern Rhône in France.

Yeah, my last desert island is hella specific.

Good Syrah from the Rhône Valley is the sort of wine that makes you look like the dudes from the viral TikTok when white people eat something tasty:

@jasonrodeloIt was a basic chicken wrap #tasty #food

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This is me every time I get my hands on a good bottle of Syrah.

Of course, this being French Syrah, you won’t find the grape variety on the label, you’ll find the region.

If you want great Syrah from the Northern Rhône, you’ve got to look for names like:

• Saint-Joseph

• Crozes-Hermitage

• Côte-Rôtie

• Cornas

And if you want to drop $80+ on a bottle, look for Hermitage.

The wine made on the hill of Hermitage is so good it’s one of the most sought-after in the world.

Especially when it’s made by one man — Jean-Louis Chave, sometimes called the Hermit of Hermitage.

Jean-Louis dedicates his life to growing mind-blowing Syrah on his hill. Exactly like the 16 generations of Chave winemakers before him.

I’ve only drunk his Hermitage once and it was an epiphany.

But it’s not just the high-end bottles that places Northern Rhône Syrah in my top three. Other incredible Rhône winemakers are doing incredible things. They’re making wines that taste meaty and herby and something like a black olive crossed with a blackberry.

Weird? Sometimes.

Makes you have what feels like a mini orgasm when you drink them?

Every time.

The others that didn’t quite make the cut

Whilst Chardonnay has always held the top spot, my other two choices change on the regular. These are some other varieties that pop in and out of the top three (and almost always crop up in one form or another on my friends’ lists too).

Thank the God Bacchus this desert island wine thing is only an intellectual exercise, otherwise I’d be screwed.

Gamay

Gamay held one of my top spots for many years. It’s the red grape variety of Beaujolais which is the region I probably know more about than any other.

In fact, it took me hours to decide between Gamay and Syrah for this article. On a different day, it might have taken a top-three position. It’s my happy juice, for sure.

Nebbiolo

This is what the good folks of Northern Italy use to make Barolo and Barbaresco. A good bottle is almost enough to make me a one-woman-grape lover.

Almost.

Chenin Blanc

Chenin Blanc is the white grape variety of the central Loire Valley in Northern France (and has a nice home in South Africa too). When it’s good, it’s like electricity — it will make your whole body fizz.

Palomino

Palomino is the grape variety responsible for those dry, salty, weird-ass Sherries I’m always banging on about. And for that, it has all my respect, love and adoration.

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I’m forever interested in other people’s drinking habits so I have to ask:

What are your top three grape varieties? Do they look anything like mine?

Which ones are good enough to make you forsake all others and be faithful to only those three for the rest of your life?

Let’s be wine geeks together.